Confused and twisted all over again

I didn't get a good sleep. Thank God i actually got sleep. I'm a girl who doesn't have a drive or a goal right now at this point of my life. So far, i've decided to go to HELP college to do psycology and my parents aren't against it. People think it can be quite interesting. So, I agreed and settled that i would start in march. okay. finalized. done.....until there was yesterday night. Do i start all over?? or do I pray that God will handle situations when i try to convince people that i'm sticking to my decision?? sigh....i'm a mess...
Its been a long time i cried myself to sleep. Surprisingly, i did yesterday.
Okay the story is like this...my mum talked to my yougest anuty on skype. So obviously when its about me, they talk about what i'm gonna study..where..blablabla. My aunties.....are really gifted and smart and daring and have huge dreams. They went to Princeton, Smith, Yale....sigh...they talk to me as if its so easy to get in there. Anyway, my youngest aunty went to UWC for college. Its free for 2 years which is a good thing. They have many outdoor activities which are interesting...but its in Canada..So far away from home, so new...sigh i dunno. So she wants me to apply. Due date was last week though. Which means i have to rush to fill in applications and essays on topics they want before they consider. There are about 4 or 5 i think. Around there. sigh. They have the usual questions too like "what are your interest or dream??" *which im not specifictly sure what i wanna do in the future..and "why do you want to come to UWC??" *what am i suppose to say?? MY aunty wants me to go cause its really good?? I have financial problem?? Or...lie??...nope definately not doing that. sigh. So i couldn't sleep well yesterday trying to think what to do. If i'm really trying for that i need to do essays within this week....sobss...i wanted to do something for my friends who are leaving and on thursday i may be going out..aaaa!!!! God please help me....=(....
Sigh anyway i'm gonna go check out the application form now...will see if i'll live...